i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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