I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize