you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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