My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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