In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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