yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
