Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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