Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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