Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
