He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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