Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
