new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
