My first STD was from a foam party
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
