I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
