dude i'm inner monologue high
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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