Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
