omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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