Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
