Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
