Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
