She's JV to your varsity
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My vagina is officially offended.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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