1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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