she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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