Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
