somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
