i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just gargled with NyQuil
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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