but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
