; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
its not stalking. its research.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
