shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
