ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
