i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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