I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
