Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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