yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
