i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
