May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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