I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
