Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
