well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
