He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's just like the Real World with babies
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
