This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
