i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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