I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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