it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
