i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
