Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
