Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
