You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
