Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
