I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
