It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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