I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
