so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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