my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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