he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
