Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
