Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
