what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
