Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
