I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize