just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
